Kindness

Over the past few weeks, I've been noticing something. There is an awful lot of kindness in the world. Most of the time, in places that we don't see it and in places where we don't expect it. Simple things like a man who stopped the traffic behind his big truck and let me turn left in front of him on my way home the other day. Or this sweet lady who noticed that Andy had dropped his train on the floor, had seen him with it a few minutes beforehand and tracked me down through the store to find us. I hadn' t even noticed that it was missing and she'd seen him with it. She seriously went through almost the whole store trying to find us to give it to him. I felt like I should have given her a reward or something.

I've had some of my Twilight Mom friends trying to bend over backwards to help me take care of my boys since my ex's schedule changed at work. These women who have children of their own to take care of, have offered to babysit for me just so I can get some time off. I had people who I hadn't talked to in months, text me or email me to wish me a happy birthday last week. People who's birthdays I know I forgot. They still were kind enough to remember me.

It is amazing to me that with so much hate and evil in this world, there are still good samaritans who do things without being asked to, without any expectations, just out of the kindness of their hearts. It makes me want to try harder to be that way, to set that example for my kids.

This may never reach anyone who has done these amazing things for me, for my boys or for the people in my life who I care about, but thank you. For showing me that people in this world still have it in them to be kind to one another. We really need more of that.

There is nothing lost, that cannot be found, if sought.....

One of my favorite movies, and books is Sense and Sensibility. I've seen it a million times, I know the story by heart, I love the characters, the plot twists, the romantic aspect of it. Jane Austen was a brilliant writer. Pride and Prejudice is also among my favorites.

I relate to many of the characters in the Jane Austen books. I see myself in so many of the women and sometimes the men in these stories. One of my favorite characters is Marianne Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility. She is a hopeless and hopeful romantic, much like myself. She gives up on love for a time, thinking that the possibility of falling in love twice in one liftime just isn't possible.

Here's a little of the story:

In the beginning, she falls in love with someone who seems to be the end-all. He sweeps her off of her feet, he turns her world upside down. Willoughby seems like the perfect man. He nearly is, but not quite. (stick with me here) He breaks her heart, shatters it into a million pieces. She is overcome with distraught, she can barely breathe when she thinks of all that he did to her. She feels like her life will never go on, like she cannot live any longer. She comes close to drowning in her sorrow. Just when you think she is gone, she gasps for air, she breaths again. Her life goes on. Eventually her heart heals. As the gorgeous Kate Winslet (who happens to play Marianne in my favorite version of S&S) says in one of my other favorite movies, The Holiday "Little pieces of your soul..... finally come back." I've experienced this first hand. I truly believe that time heals all wounds. You just have to have faith and a little hope.

Towards the end of the book, after nearly dying, she finds him. Her real prince charming, who happens to be a colonel. Someone who had been just beyond her reach for a long time. He is her soul's match in every way. Love of poetry, of music, of the great outdoors, they share so much in common. She feels safe, protected, loved. He loves her and that means everything to her. He even happens to be the one who rescues her from a rain storm and he does whatever he can to help her when she's on her death bed. He's not necessarily someone who she would have pictured herself with when she was younger but he makes her feel so special and so loved. He takes care of her and loves her completely. It's just perfect.

Okay okay, cheezy, I know. But I love this story!

Love is a crazy thing, you never know what the future holds. But I can't wait to find out where my heart will finally end up. Reading stories like this has given me hope over the years. They show that, yes, even though they are fiction, true love exists. It is real and it is possible to find.

This is one of my favorite sonnets in Sense and Sensibility:

Sonnet VII
By Hartley Coleridge

Is love a fancy, or a feeling? No.
It is immortal as immaculate truth,
'Tis not a blossom shed as soon as youth,
Drops from the stem of life--for it will grow,
In barren regions, where no waters flow,
Nor rays of promise cheats the pensive gloom.
A darkling fire, faint hovering o'er a tomb,
That but itself and darkness nought doth show,
It is my love's being yet it cannot die,
Nor will it change, though all be changed beside;
Though fairest beauty be no longer fair,
Though vows be false, and faith itself deny,
Though sharp enjoyment be a suicide,
And hope a spectre in a ruin bare.

An eternal love??

As many of my close friends and family know, I'm a little obsessed with the Twilight Saga books and Stephenie Meyer's books in general. I am a big fan of not only her writing but also her drive as a stay-at-home mom. She's inspired me to start writing a book for myself. I've come up with several ideas about books I'd like to eventually write. Even just stories that may turn into books someday. But she's said that one of the keys to becoming a good writer is to read as much as possible. She said to read everything and anything and especially books that fascinate or intrigue you. So I've started reading various books, anything that looks interesting to me or that I've heard good things about from someone else.

I stumbled across a set of romance novels actually by an author named Lynsay Sands. I've never been a big "romance novel" kind of person. I remember my mom reading some of them growing up with the Fabio-esque men on the front and the peasant woman in his arms. They always looked kind of cheesy to me and I never thought I'd be interested in them. So I was hesitant to give this set of books a chance. But, as usual, once I found out they had vampires in them, I was sold. Ever since reading Twilight, I can't seem to get enough of the vampire novels. I try to avoid anything too racy or grotesque and so far I've done that. I came across these great books on a fluke but I have so far been very impressed with them. Now they are romance novels so there is the occasional, shall we say, moment of passion? I generally skip through those and get to the important stuff. The Argeneau Family is a family of vampires, most of them born that way. They are an enormous family and keeping them all straight is kind of hard sometimes but it's fun to see what happens in their lives.

**Side note: Lynsay Sands has developed this REALLY fascinating theory of how vampires came to be in her world. They were originally from the lost city of Atlantis which was so advanced that they developed a technology to fix the human body from the inside by inserting these "nanos" into the blood stream. These "nanos" bond with the blood and help to heal anything and everything that can cause damage to the body. But unfortunately they didn't realize that the nanos also used up a lot of the blood to repair the body and therefore the people had to have constant transfusions to replace the blood loss. These people essentially became immortal and indestructible. But they needed extra blood to survive which led to blood banks and eventually, after the Fall of Atlantis, vampires were born out of evolution. That is to say, the people with the nanos who survived the fall, adapted to their situation and began turning into vampire-like beings. Their night vision improved, they became faster and stronger and grew extra long canines to feed with. They can be damaged by the sun, which uses up more blood but they can't be burned by it. They can eat garlic and cannot be hurt by crosses. They also can't just be staked in the heart because their body will repair itself. It's really interesting to me.***

Anyway, back to the point of this rant. The vampires in this book believe that every person, vampire or not, has a "lifemate". Someone who they are MEANT to be with. As a vampire, they can recognize their lifemate in several ways. For one thing, they cannot read their mind or control them, which they can do with pretty much everyone else, vamp or not. For another thing, they have an instant connection with them that cannot be broken and my favorite thing-they have a need to be with that person for eternity. They cannot see their lives with anyone else. These books are all about the different members of the family finding their lifemates. Some of their mates are already vampires, others choose to become vampires to be with their mates, in two cases so far, the one mate was turned by the other to save his or her life. It's been really interesting to see what happens with each member of the family.

As I've been reading these, I've wondered if things like this really exist. Yeah, yeah, so I'm a hopeless romantic, we all know that. But I wonder sometimes if for most of us, there is that one person out there for us that we will just click with. It's not that I'm looking for a vampire to fall in love with me and love me for eternity. I just hope someday, in some way, I'll find that kind of love. That love that I can't live without. I've come close to experiencing it before, I know that it exists. I just wonder if, because it's never lasted, it means that there really is that ONE person out there who is looking for me too. Cheesy, I know. But reading romance novels and watching people around me finding their soulmates or that one to love forever, I have to wonder. You would think after everything that has happened, I wouldn't trust, I wouldn't be able to put my heart on the line and in a lot of ways, I'm scared to do that. Terrified in fact. But I know that I don't want to spend my lifetime, my eternity, alone. But I will not settle, I refuse to hurt myself, or anyone, else in that way.

I figure, when the time is right, when I least expect it, he'll show up. Hopefully he won't be a vampire though. I'm not sure my parents would dig that too much.

From the mixed up mind of Miss Holly G

For some time now I've wanted to start my own personal blog. I did have one for quite some time a year or two ago but gave up on it after deciding that no one wants to read about my depressing life. So this one will be different I hope. This will contain many of the crazy thoughts that pass through my brain but it will mostly be my ramblings on life. I will try to avoid too many negative thoughts. Because I have a blog for my two children, I figure I should have one of my own to keep my friends and family updated on my own personal life, aside from the kids. So here we have a beginning.

Just a quick side note-for those of you who don't know, the title of my blog is from the book and movie Breakfast at Tiffany's, which as most of my close family and friends know-is one of my personal favorites. Miss Audrey Hepburn is one of my heroes and I feel a close connection with her. Especially her character of Holiday Golightly from the movie.